The Alchemist of Money

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“The Alchemist of Money” by John Masterson

A little Taste:

When I was a little boy, I can remember being on my dad’s shoulders and thinking to myself, “I’m the king of the mountain.” I didn’t realize at the time that my dad would pass away just a year later. After that, my mom became violently drunk and took all her anger out on me. I was nine years old at the time. We went from steak to eating cheap Raymond noodles. We also stood in line at churches, and we would wait for hours just to get a block of hard cheese. This block of cheese could have knocked someone out if we used it as a weapon. I can remember trying to slice off a piece of cheese using a hammer and a knife. That’s how hard this cheese was, and you can guess what happened after I ate it? If you guessed stomachache, you would be correct. My life really sucked after my father died. But that was life back then, and I swore to myself when I got bigger that I would never be poor in my life again! As I grew, so did my knowledge. When I was nine, I used to shovel snow.
I would get 5 dollars for a driveway, and I would shovel all day. I can remember how proud I was of myself for making a whopping 65 dollars. Back then, that was a lot of money. I remember my mother stealing my money out of the top drawer to buy alcohol. My mother would say Jack Danials is my friend. It took me two years to figure out who he was. I found out one day when her closet door was open. There it is laid plain as day. It was her friend; it was a bottle of alcohol named Jack Danials. Her friend was stealing all the money I had made. The more money I made, the more my mother’s friend would take. It was a bottomless pit. This was the turning point in my life. I wanted to know everything about money: how to make it and hide it from prying eyes. After doing this for nearly 60 years, I believe I did it, and I want to share it with you. The Alchemist of Money is waiting for you, so what are you waiting for?

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